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Post by ScintillaMyntan on May 21, 2023 21:38:00 GMT -6
Do you ever feel embarrassed looking at your past writing?
I have this problem a lot, and it's not just immature stories from when I was a teenager, although those are certainly included. In a way, I should be glad if I'm ashamed of long-ago writing because that would mean I've improved. But I also cringe at things I wrote a month or week ago.
The writing and ideas often start to sound dumb, even if I thought they were good at the time. I become really aware that it's my own hand behind them, and the fictional events didn't happen. When I write, at the time I feel I'm inventing something and it sort of becomes real on the page; afterwards, it loses that illusion and just becomes something I made up and was appropriate to my mental state at the time. The story starts to sound ridiculous and unconvincing. I become critical of it, and I'm even just embarrassed by the fact I was so interested in it in the past. I'm also rather hyper-sensitive to criticism, as much as I know rationally that we do critiques to improve your writing, not judge it.
I think it's the worst when I know what led me to write something specific, such as remembering where I encountered a certain word or detail that I chose to use, or knowing the emotional background that led to a story idea. It feels like watching a child decide to draw something because they just learned about that thing in school. It's like I'm too predictable to myself, and the more recent me can go "heh, of course I did that." It's the writing that surprises me most and sounds least like me that I end up still liking.
I've just had to get through this when revising a contest story. I just kept putting it aside and trusting that most of the story isn't too bad, and the rest is fixable—
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Post by havekrillwhaletravel on May 23, 2023 7:16:16 GMT -6
Do you ever feel embarrassed looking at your past writing?
I have this problem a lot, and it's not just immature stories from when I was a teenager, although those are certainly included. In a way, I should be glad if I'm ashamed of long-ago writing because that would mean I've improved. But I also cringe at things I wrote a month or week ago. The writing and ideas often start to sound dumb, even if I thought they were good at the time. I become really aware that it's my own hand behind them, and the fictional events didn't happen. When I write, at the time I feel I'm inventing something and it sort of becomes real on the page; afterwards, it loses that illusion and just becomes something I made up and was appropriate to my mental state at the time. The story starts to sound ridiculous and unconvincing. I become critical of it, and I'm even just embarrassed by the fact I was so interested in it in the past. I'm also rather hyper-sensitive to criticism, as much as I know rationally that we do critiques to improve your writing, not judge it. This is definitely something I can relate to, especially the part about being embarrassed by our past interests. I wonder why I spent so much time and energy on this particular idea or that feeling. My writing can sometimes feel pointless, dilettante, and (as you point out) untrue.
Rereading my work can be paralyzing, and I'm lost wondering if something I wrote is trite or melodramatic or cliche or ... Sentences or plot points that I was incredibly confident and sure of suddenly seem childish and obvious.
I haven't got any suggestions or ways to get over this, but you're definitely not alone in having this problem.
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Post by Alatariel on May 23, 2023 12:59:12 GMT -6
Do you ever feel embarrassed looking at your past writing?
I have this problem a lot, and it's not just immature stories from when I was a teenager, although those are certainly included. In a way, I should be glad if I'm ashamed of long-ago writing because that would mean I've improved. But I also cringe at things I wrote a month or week ago.
The writing and ideas often start to sound dumb, even if I thought they were good at the time. I become really aware that it's my own hand behind them, and the fictional events didn't happen. When I write, at the time I feel I'm inventing something and it sort of becomes real on the page; afterwards, it loses that illusion and just becomes something I made up and was appropriate to my mental state at the time. The story starts to sound ridiculous and unconvincing. I become critical of it, and I'm even just embarrassed by the fact I was so interested in it in the past. I'm also rather hyper-sensitive to criticism, as much as I know rationally that we do critiques to improve your writing, not judge it.
I think it's the worst when I know what led me to write something specific, such as remembering where I encountered a certain word or detail that I chose to use, or knowing the emotional background that led to a story idea. It feels like watching a child decide to draw something because they just learned about that thing in school. It's like I'm too predictable to myself, and the more recent me can go "heh, of course I did that." It's the writing that surprises me most and sounds least like me that I end up still liking.
I've just had to get through this when revising a contest story. I just kept putting it aside and trusting that most of the story isn't too bad, and the rest is fixable—
YES. YES. YES. So, my first officially finished draft of my novel I thought was great. Polished, honed, strong...I even had Raveneye read it and do a developmental edit. She was kind. Unbelievably kind but as I went through her suggestions I saw it for what it was. I saw the flaws so clearly. It was crap. Utter trash. The absolute worst piece of garbage ever written. Raveneye will insist it wasn't that bad but she's being kind and generous. I've been carefully rewriting the entire thing (my choice, not her suggestion, but I could see the deep flaws and wanted to start fresh) and now I've been rewriting for so long that I see the garbage again. It's starting to smell and I feel defeated. I think it needs to be reworked AGAIN and I'm exhausted. Probably why I keep coming up with new stories to distract me from the stinking piles of gross that is my novel. HOWEVER I want to let you know that your work is unique and wonderful and always surprises me. I love your writing style and your stories. Seriously. I don't know anyone who writes like you and I mean that as the highest compliment. |
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Post by Sundrinker on May 25, 2023 18:57:22 GMT -6
When I was in high school, my friends and I got this idea to write this (totally not based around us) high school story or something. We barely got passed the point where we defined our (totally not self-insert) OCs and then dropped the idea.
A couple of months back I looked into my Dropbox or Google Drive, whichever one it was, and saw a couple of curious old files. One of them contained the aformentioned OCs. As soon as I realized it was that, I instinctively looked away and closed it. I didn't even *want* to look at what we (or mostly I, I think) wrote. It was the most embarrassing feeling. Just terrible.
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Post by saintofm on Jun 1, 2023 2:51:39 GMT -6
Happens to us all. Just look at you tubers and find a video older than half a year that doesn't make them wince.
As for my old stuff, I am looking at easy to fix spelling and grammar errors. I am looking at paragraph and sentence structure that I swear is the definition of word salad. ANd maybe even some marry sue isms, regardless of character gender, or even unintentional prejudices I didn't think I had or just plain ignorance.
THe best part tho is that you are cringing. It means you imprved, and you see where you started compared to where you ended up at.
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You add them to your profile as you do them around the forum.
