Deep POV Lesson 7 Lively, Linear Prose
Jul 5, 2021 8:41:28 GMT -6
Post by ScienceGirl on Jul 5, 2021 8:41:28 GMT -6
Lively, Linear Prose
In Chapter 7, Nelson directly addresses timing and pacing of story. She's hinted around this all along, but now we'll look at it in some detail. She says,
She tells us that linear writing does sometimes necessitate a trip to the past or anticipated future events. We all, as she says, think about the past and discuss the future regularly in our lives. However, we do it in the CONTEXT OF THE PRESENT.
There's that word again. Context. It really does make all the difference.
Suppose you are writing a scene with a character who has a past trauma. How do you construct a story in the present and still express the emotion of the past? (I'm doing this in my WIP and it's pretty challenging to stay in the now and justify the traumatic reaction). Some of you read the chapter I posted in the Fiction Drive and saw this excerpt:
I can't tell you how hard I struggled on this piece. This book is now four years overdue in releasing because I've had such a hard time writing it. But I'm really proud now of how it came together because I feel like it was a turning point for past/present/future pacing. This excerpt is one of the bits of writing I'm most proud of. Every line, every word, was a deliberate decision to manage this pacing. So much symbolism. It was TOUGH! But so worth it!
Notice:
1) I have planted setting and character details that are reminders of the past. The crumbling brick wall. The girl's permed hair (which was a kind of branding the antagonist made characters do in the last two books).
2) I have planted setting details that act as doorways to the future. A renovation. New construction implies hope for a new time period when the conflicts of her traumatic past do not exist anymore. Newly built, and sandblasted squeaky clean represent a fresh start.
3) I have planted character details that are "in the present." The coffeeshop patrons buzzing around acting like nothing was ever wrong. They live in the now, so Callie needs to live in the now. Even the group of students sweeping the girl away is symbolic. The past is gone. Let it be gone.
4) I have led Callie through this reflection and future anticipation through a series of actions and sensations. She's walking toward the lawyer's office. She's passing the coffeeshop. She's seeing the college renovations for the first time. She feels pain from her injury. She has that electrical sensation of nerves. All of these sensations relate to her past, but she feels them in the now.
5) Callie's thoughts flip-flop between the past, present, and future, but they always head forward in time.
Fire that Lazy Sentence Construction
This is the place where all of Nelson's guidance came together for me. I cannot, at the same time, be a lazy writer and a good writer. Every word matters. Every sentence matters. Every piece of punctiation and descriptive adjective matters. Her book helped me understand more about what writing is NOT than what it actually is.
We are not "called to the pen." We do not pick up a writing utensil and pants out perfection. We are called to the story! We owe it to the story to take the extra time to physically construct our setting, our characters, our sentences. We owe it to ourselves and our readers to reflect on each paragraph and decide what rich details we can add to the prose to lift it off the page. Our writing becomes flat because we are lazy. We wait until the last minute for contest deadlines. We jot down our words and never return to them.
In particular, Nelson tells us to pay attention to the ORDER of our actions. When we follow through on making sure our characters perform things in sequence, we have an easier time staying in their head.
Halt MRU Violations
"MRU" stands for Motivation/Reaction Units. It's related to cause and effect, and it's what Nelson calls "the mortal enemies of linear prose." She likens it to putting the cart before the horse, and says:
Take these examples she gives us:
He needs to slide into base before he can notice his hip stinging.
She can't turn on the lights until she actually IS inside.
A good rule of thumb is to NEVER say what happens "before"
Now there are two "timing" phrases that do not create MRU violations: as, and when. These two words imply actions happening simultaneously, so we don't have to worry about the order.
It's definitely a time sacrifice to pay attention to all these things, but as I said above, it's so worth it! Your writing will be richer. More believable. More inviting. And most importantly, more resonating with your readers.
In Chapter 7, Nelson directly addresses timing and pacing of story. She's hinted around this all along, but now we'll look at it in some detail. She says,
Effective Deep POV demands that you take your readers through the experiences of your POVC, step-by-step- as if they reside within the character. Don't run ahead. Don't lag behind. Remain ever in the now!
There's that word again. Context. It really does make all the difference.
Suppose you are writing a scene with a character who has a past trauma. How do you construct a story in the present and still express the emotion of the past? (I'm doing this in my WIP and it's pretty challenging to stay in the now and justify the traumatic reaction). Some of you read the chapter I posted in the Fiction Drive and saw this excerpt:
After ten minutes of self-inflicted punishment, only three concrete stairs stand between the law offices of Roscoe T. Keller and me. Though newly built and sandblasted squeaky clean, the steps rest between crumbling brick walls, remnants from explosions that rocked Union City three summers ago.
Crumbling, broken like me.
I clench my teeth and grip my cane. Almost there.
A coffee shop queue two doors down bends around the corner. Bulletproof Brew. Ha! Tha'ts irony right there. The neon sign reflects off early bird twenty-somethings clad in professional attire. They chatter against a backdrop of steady traffic and the choreography of carefully-timed lights, which dance like beacons in the shadowed dawn. It’s as if time never stopped for these people. Maybe it hasn’t.
Across the street, an eight-story building looms in all its collegiate gothic glory. I think Dad once taught English there before the University decided to build more contemporary classrooms. He always complained about how they turned the archaic building into a student center and food court. Said it looked like some kind of medieval prison. Even after renovation, restaurant service windows with their cast-iron gates bring a chilling reminder of the barred Alliance windows that punctuated my captivity. Definitely like a prison.
Electricity ripples down my spine as my arm hairs prickle. Come on, Callie. Deep, even breaths. You’re free. You’re not in the Alliance anymore.
“Excuse you.”
Oh. Guess I am in the way, though.
A wisp of a girl brushes past, dark curls spilling out of her hood. Gaunt face. Hollow eyes. Dark hair, permed like mine. She looks back, and our gazes hold under the incandescent lights from Roscoe T. Keller’s front porch. “Oh. I’m sorry. Um… take care.”
“No problem.” I force a smile. Did she apologize because she recognized me, or just to acknowledge our sisterhood of trauma? Should I say something?
A group of backpack-toting students swarms us. They sweep the girl away and stream across the street, directly toward the food court. Wonder if it brings her the same dreadful memories. I’m sure it does.
Crumbling, broken like me.
I clench my teeth and grip my cane. Almost there.
A coffee shop queue two doors down bends around the corner. Bulletproof Brew. Ha! Tha'ts irony right there. The neon sign reflects off early bird twenty-somethings clad in professional attire. They chatter against a backdrop of steady traffic and the choreography of carefully-timed lights, which dance like beacons in the shadowed dawn. It’s as if time never stopped for these people. Maybe it hasn’t.
Across the street, an eight-story building looms in all its collegiate gothic glory. I think Dad once taught English there before the University decided to build more contemporary classrooms. He always complained about how they turned the archaic building into a student center and food court. Said it looked like some kind of medieval prison. Even after renovation, restaurant service windows with their cast-iron gates bring a chilling reminder of the barred Alliance windows that punctuated my captivity. Definitely like a prison.
Electricity ripples down my spine as my arm hairs prickle. Come on, Callie. Deep, even breaths. You’re free. You’re not in the Alliance anymore.
“Excuse you.”
Oh. Guess I am in the way, though.
A wisp of a girl brushes past, dark curls spilling out of her hood. Gaunt face. Hollow eyes. Dark hair, permed like mine. She looks back, and our gazes hold under the incandescent lights from Roscoe T. Keller’s front porch. “Oh. I’m sorry. Um… take care.”
“No problem.” I force a smile. Did she apologize because she recognized me, or just to acknowledge our sisterhood of trauma? Should I say something?
A group of backpack-toting students swarms us. They sweep the girl away and stream across the street, directly toward the food court. Wonder if it brings her the same dreadful memories. I’m sure it does.
Notice:
1) I have planted setting and character details that are reminders of the past. The crumbling brick wall. The girl's permed hair (which was a kind of branding the antagonist made characters do in the last two books).
2) I have planted setting details that act as doorways to the future. A renovation. New construction implies hope for a new time period when the conflicts of her traumatic past do not exist anymore. Newly built, and sandblasted squeaky clean represent a fresh start.
3) I have planted character details that are "in the present." The coffeeshop patrons buzzing around acting like nothing was ever wrong. They live in the now, so Callie needs to live in the now. Even the group of students sweeping the girl away is symbolic. The past is gone. Let it be gone.
4) I have led Callie through this reflection and future anticipation through a series of actions and sensations. She's walking toward the lawyer's office. She's passing the coffeeshop. She's seeing the college renovations for the first time. She feels pain from her injury. She has that electrical sensation of nerves. All of these sensations relate to her past, but she feels them in the now.
5) Callie's thoughts flip-flop between the past, present, and future, but they always head forward in time.
Fire that Lazy Sentence Construction
This is the place where all of Nelson's guidance came together for me. I cannot, at the same time, be a lazy writer and a good writer. Every word matters. Every sentence matters. Every piece of punctiation and descriptive adjective matters. Her book helped me understand more about what writing is NOT than what it actually is.
We are not "called to the pen." We do not pick up a writing utensil and pants out perfection. We are called to the story! We owe it to the story to take the extra time to physically construct our setting, our characters, our sentences. We owe it to ourselves and our readers to reflect on each paragraph and decide what rich details we can add to the prose to lift it off the page. Our writing becomes flat because we are lazy. We wait until the last minute for contest deadlines. We jot down our words and never return to them.
In particular, Nelson tells us to pay attention to the ORDER of our actions. When we follow through on making sure our characters perform things in sequence, we have an easier time staying in their head.
Halt MRU Violations
"MRU" stands for Motivation/Reaction Units. It's related to cause and effect, and it's what Nelson calls "the mortal enemies of linear prose." She likens it to putting the cart before the horse, and says:
In our sentences, we must give the motivation for a response before we state the response, and yet I see that poor old horse trotting behind the cart time and time again.
Take these examples she gives us:
Nathan's hip stung after he slid into base.
She turned on the lights when she went inside.
Before giving Jim the award, the principal shook his hand.
Now there are two "timing" phrases that do not create MRU violations: as, and when. These two words imply actions happening simultaneously, so we don't have to worry about the order.
It's definitely a time sacrifice to pay attention to all these things, but as I said above, it's so worth it! Your writing will be richer. More believable. More inviting. And most importantly, more resonating with your readers.
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