Deep POV Lesson 6 Get Off the See/Saw
Jul 3, 2021 18:54:18 GMT -6
Post by ScienceGirl on Jul 3, 2021 18:54:18 GMT -6
Get Off the See-Saw
He saw. She smelled. He heard. She tasted. He felt. None of these phrases are necessary in deep POV because deep POV is an example of what Nelson calls sensory writing.
There can, as she points out, be sensory tells. For example:
Nothing wrong with that sentence grammatically. But it's classic shallow POV. Why?
Because your character's ability to see is implied! It's always extraneous to write in something that's implied. If you are in deep POV, you don't have to tell readers what they can understand by the actions that followed.
Consider this, instead.
Now, did Barry see the dog peeking out of the closet? Of course he did. Did he hear the dog scratching? Yes!!! The actions of seeing and hearing were implied.
The idea here is to go straight to the point. And, if you remember the lesson on filtering, that's exactly what we're trying to avoid. As soon as we put in those sensation words, we've let that narrator pop back in and widen the narrative distance.
He saw. She smelled. He heard. She tasted. He felt. None of these phrases are necessary in deep POV because deep POV is an example of what Nelson calls sensory writing.
There can, as she points out, be sensory tells. For example:
He could see the tip of the dog's nose peeking out of the closet.
Because your character's ability to see is implied! It's always extraneous to write in something that's implied. If you are in deep POV, you don't have to tell readers what they can understand by the actions that followed.
Consider this, instead.
Barry stepped through the bedroom door. No dog, but wait. Was that scratching?
The dog's nose peeked out of the closet.
The dog's nose peeked out of the closet.
The idea here is to go straight to the point. And, if you remember the lesson on filtering, that's exactly what we're trying to avoid. As soon as we put in those sensation words, we've let that narrator pop back in and widen the narrative distance.
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