Deep POV Lesson 4 Name That Feeling--NOT!

Name That Feeling--NOT!

For the remaining chapters of Rivet Your Readers with Deep POV, Nelson offers some sage advice to staying in the depth and out of the shallow. In chapter four, she makes the argument that a feeling should never be named in fiction (unless, of course, it's in dialogue, etc.)

Take for example, the following example she gives of Shallow (Telling) and Deep (Showing):

See the difference? In the shallow example, the emotional reactions were given their names (frustration and fury). In the deep example, they were hinted at by his thought and action of slapping the phone shut.

Here are some other examples she offers:

So the workaround is easy! Just don't let yourself speak the name of the emotion. And even more than emotion, watch feelings and sensations in general. Find those actions that convey said emotion or sensation, and have your character do them. Think about those physical, uncontrollable, impulsive reactions. When you're embarrassed, your cheeks grow warm. When you're cold or scared, your arm hairs become prickly. You shiver. If you're nervous, your words get stuck in your throat. Maybe you swallow a lot or taste bile. 

There's a series of books that I can't recommend highly enough, written by Becca Puglisi and Angela Ackerman. My favorite is entitled The Emotion Thesaurus, and it lists all the common actions, physical responses, etc. for every imaginable emotion. And even beyond the book, just watch people. Take note when you're waiting in line at the grocery store about how different people in line handle the boredom of waiting. 

Nelson sums these reactions up in the following list. Instead of naming the emotion, you can:
1) Give physical effects on the body that can be described
2) Give the thoughts in keeping with that particular emotion
3) Include the actions and behaviors that convey that emotion (like throwing something across the room if you're angry or nervously cleaning the house)